Don’t compare your insides to someone else’s outsides

别拿自己的内在和别人的外在来攀比

The first time I heard this excellent, if hard-to-implement, advice, I was suffering from a terrible case of envy. Some competitor or other had achieved an inspiring degree of success and I was complaining to a mentor about how unachievable it seemed to me. Her warning took me aback: Look, she told me, You have no idea what it took for them to get there. Don’t act like this was unearned, effortless, or pure dumb luck.And for Pete’s sake, don’t go thinking that because you read the press release, you have a single clue about what’s really going on behind the scenes.

我第一次听到这个优秀的、但却难以实施的建议时，我刚好在经受一种可怕的嫉妒。当看到一些竞争对手或其他人取得了令人欢欣鼓舞的成功时，我就向导师抱怨在我看来是如何无法实现的。她的警告使我十分惊讶：看，她告诉我，你并不知道他们为获得成功付出了什么。不要总觉得这是不劳而获、毫不费力的，或者纯粹的狗屎运。不要再那样想了，因为你一看这个消息的时候，你就只想到了一点，而不会考虑到他们背后发生了什么。

She was absolutely right. I knew better, yet in the moment that I’d heard the news, I fell prey to reactive thinking and over-simplification. Because it’s much easier to look at someone “up there” and envy what they’ve got than it is to ask the tougher questions:

她是绝对正确的。我其实知道，然而在听到消息的那一刻，我却成了反动思考和过于简单化的牺牲品。因为看到别人达到目标、嫉妒他们所取得的成功时，更容易做出这样的反应，而不是反问自己一些问题：

What do they have that I wish I had?

他们拥有什么我希望拥有的东西？


What do I admire about them? What are they modelling for me?

我羡慕他们身上的什么？他们给我做出了什么样的榜样？

What have they done to get where they are today?

为了今天的收获他们付出了什么？

How does this relate to my own values?

这点是如何与我自己的价值观相关的？

When we reflect on these questions, we shift immediately out of comparison mode and turn inwards, to face the heart of the matter: our own desires and fears.

当我们反思这些问题的时候，我们就会立即从攀比的模式当中切换回来，面对我们内心的问题：我们的渴望以及恐惧。

Transform comparison into celebration

将攀比转换成祝贺